Marketing Tecnicu cù l'Oxymoron

paisoluDurante u liceu (è avà), eru abbastanza u pagliacciu di classe.

I had quite a theatrical English teacher one year – his name was Mr. Morgan. Most of my time with Mr. Morgan was spent outside the classroom because I couldn't appreciate Shakespeare. It drove Mr. Morgan crazy.

In una occasione quandu u sgiò Morgan hà dumandatu, cù u so accentu scintillante Yale-ish, chì tippi di tecniche letterarie Shakespeare anu adupratu in Hamlet, aghju alzatu ansiosamente a manu.

U sgiò Morgan suspirò: "Iè, signore Karr?"
"Oxymorons", aghju rispostu.
"Oxymorons?" droned Mr. Morgan, "Sapete ancu ciò chì hè un oxymoron, Mr. Karr?"
“Sure!” I said, “It's the juxtaposition of antithetical terms in an expression, Mr. Morgan.”

Though I was correct, Mr. Morgan still couldn't grow to appreciate my sense of humor and he showed me the door. It did get quite a laugh from the class (after the initial gasp of hearing multi-syllable words coming from my mouth).

I've never forgotten the definition for an oxymoron… and I'm surprised at their excessive and, perhaps, growing usage when marketing technology today. If you want to sound like you have a really cool product or service, throw in an oxymoron into your marketing or technology presentation. It appears folks love it nowadays. In fact, quite a few of these are now in Geekipedia.

  1. Sviluppu Agile - Quelli sviluppatori sò divertenti. A liberazione hè sempre in ritardu.
  2. Applicazione Interfaccia di Programmazione - cum'è se l'applicazione si prugrammi stessa.
  3. Intelligence Artificial – it's not artificial, it's real.
  4. Alternative Energetiche - a sola alternativa à l'energia hè a materia scura.
  5. URL amichevule – what's a mean URL?
  6. Radio Internet – if it's on the Internet, it's not radio
  7. Portatile 100 $ - energia? Accessu à Internet?
  8. Net Neutralità - qualchissia ne sente mai parlà Akamai or S3?
  9. Interfaccia d'Usuariu – it's still for the computer, not me.
  10. Marketing di Search Engine – it's not marketing (sorry), it's placement.
  11. Integrazione Seamless – if it's integrated, it means there is a seam somewhere.

What's your favorite oxymoron?

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